


I Was Scared

by FandomsBrew



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bullying, Depression, M/M, and self doubt, mentions of self harm, very angst-y
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-24 16:36:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13815159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsBrew/pseuds/FandomsBrew





	1. Keith learns to Skype Text

**Keith Kogane** : Hi Lance McClain, I'd like to connect with you on Skype.

You are now connected on Skype

 **Lance McClain** : Hey

 **Keith Kogane** : Hey

 **Lance McClain** Heyy

 **Keith Kogane** : Omg  
**Keith Kogane** : How

 **Lance McClain**  Lolol

 **Keith Kogane** : I don't know how to use this

 **Keith Kogane** : How do I do this

 **Keith Kogane** : How do I change the name  
**Keith Kogane** : I can't change the name

 **Lance McClain** : Yes you can

 **Keith Kogane** : It doesn't give me the option

 **Lance McClain** : ...

 **Lance McClain** : Did you go to "My Account"?

 **Keith Kogane** : Shut up..

 **Lance McClain**  is smarter than Keith

 **Keith Kogane** : How do you do that???

 **Lance McClain** : Do what?

 **Keith Kogane** : The thing

 **Lance McClain** : Be so sexy?

 **Keith Kogane** : Omfg

 **Lance McClain** : Idk

 **Keith Kogane** : Shut up

 **Lance McClain** : It's natural.

 **Keith Kogane** : No

 **Lance McClain** : Shut your quiznak

 **Lance McClain** is hot

 **Keith Kogane** : I see you do your contour and highlight shit

 **Keith Kogane** : Fuck you it aint natural

 **Lance McClain**  is better than Keith

 **Keith Kogane** : And your face masks

 **Keith Kogane** : Bitch

 **Keith Kogane** : Tell me how to do that

 **Lance McClain**  is hotter than Keith

 **Lance McClain**  is sexier than Keith

 **Keith Kogane** : No

 **Lance McClain**  is cooler than Keith

 **Lance McClain**  is the blue paladin

 **Keith Kogane** : How  
**Keith Kogane** : Bitch

 **Lance McClain** : /

 **Lance McClain** : Me

 **Lance McClain**  is cool

 **Lance McClain** : "/me"

 **Keith Kogane**  bitch

 **Keith Kogane**  fuk u

 **Lance McClain**  agrees that Keith is a bitch

 **Keith Kogane**  ur a bitch

 **Keith Kogane**  is better than Lance

 **Lance McClain**  heard that Keith Kogane likes to succ dikk

 **Keith Kogane** : Me/ no

 **Lance McClain** : xD

 **Keith Kogane** : fuk

 **Keith Kogane** : xD

 **Keith Kogane** no

 **Lance McClain** sees that Keith Kogane is dumb

 **Lance McClain** sees that Keith is the dumb paladin

 **Keith Kogane** is the the best paladin

 **Keith Kogane** pilots the black lion

 **Lance McClain** : You wish

 **Lance McClain** is cooler than Keith

 **Lance McClain** is so smart

 **Lance McClain** is attractive 

 **Lance McClain** is awesome

 **Lance McClain** knows Keith is a homosexual

 **Lance McClain** : Hey Keith?

 **Keith Kogane** : Ye?

 **Lance McClain** : You said you're about to shower?

 **Keith Kogane** : Yeh

 **Lance McClain** : (Sent an image)


	2. Lance is not gay

**Lance McClain** : (Sent and image)

**Keith Kogane** : Omfg

**Lance McClain** : ;)

**Keith Kogane** : (Sent an image)

**Lance McClain** : Holy shit...

**Keith Kogane** : You asked

**Lance McClain** : That's pretty hot

**Keith Kogane** : Gay

**Lance McClain** : Pffft

**Lance McClain** is not gay

**Keith Kogane** knows Lance is gay

**Lance McClain** is NOT gay

**Keith Kogane** sees Lance is really gay

**Lance McClain** : I'm not gay, bro

**Keith Kogane** : You are

**Keith Kogane** : You said I was hot

**Lance McClain** : Pfft

**Lance McClain** was joking 

**Lance McClain** : Obviously

**Keith Kogane** : Mhm

**Lance McClain** : O b v i o u s l y

**Lance McClain** is not a homosexual

**Keith Kogane** : So am I not hot?

**Keith Kogane** guilt tripping Lance

**Lance McClain** is not gay

**Lance McClain** is not a homo

**Lance McClain** is not a homosexual

**Lance McClain** is not gay

**Keith Kogane** is sad that I'm not found attractive

**Lance McClain** didn't say that

**Keith Kogane** : O shit

**Lance McClain** is not gay

**Keith Kogane** is gonna shower now

**Lance McClain** wants nudes 

**Lance McClain** is Joking


	3. Shower Texts

**Keith Kogane** is gonna shower now

**Lance McClain** wants nudes

**Lance McClain** is Joking

**Keith Kogane** is gonna shower for a suspicious amount of time.. for no reason

**Lance McClain** thinks Keith is gonna...

**Keith Kogane** is gonna do what?

**Lance McClain** : ...  
 **Lance McClain** : Ya know...

**Keith Kogane** : .

**Lance McClain** is thinking deeply about what Keith is probably going to do

**Keith Kogane** is going to do nothing inappropriate you perv

**Keith Kogane** but you never know

**Lance McClain** was joking

**Lance McClain** is intrigued...

**Keith Kogane** : (Sent an image)

**Keith Kogane** is listening to k-pop

**Lance McClain** : Holy fuck dude...

**Keith Kogane** : (Sent an image)

**Lance McClain** : Uhm.. Keith?..


	4. Keith's Shower

Keith went to go shower, and Lance was being his usual self. Lance 'joked' around, asking for pictures like he always does, but this time Keith decided to send them, just to shut him up. Secretly, Lance never was joking.

In the shower, Keith took a few pictures and sent them to Lance, who was shocked, but not upset to receive them. The thought of Lance seeing those pictures made something in Keith bubble up. He just couldn't help himself, and he started to stroke himself slowly, making low noises that he hopes Lance can't hear.

Keith's hopes were not met, Lance could hear every moan that Keith made, not that it bothered him. Lance sat in his room thinking about what Keith was doing to himself. The thoughts, plus the moans and the pictures, made Lance shudder and he felt something dripping from his nose. Lance had gotten a nosebleed. Suddenly Keith's moans got louder, and Lance couldn't ignore it.

 **Lance McClain** : Keith..?

 **Keith Kogane** : Hm?

 **Lance McClain** : What are you..

 **Lance McClain** : Doing in there...

 _There's no denying that he heard me now.._ Keith thought to himself

 **Keith Kogane** : Nothing...

 **Lance McClain** : Then..

 **Lance McClain** : What are those noises..

 **Keith Kogane** : Don't worry about it..

Lance couldn't help the feeling growing in him. He found himself thinking of Keith, which brought a blush to his face, and a hand to his pants. He unhurriedly unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down with his boxers. 

Keith's moans kept getting louder. As he 'hit the spot', he bit his lip to muffle the moans. The more pleasure he felt, the harder he bit his lip. His lip began to bleed from the biting.

Back in Lance's room, quiet moans erupted. He couldn't get Keith off of his mind, and he moaned louder. Before he realized it, he called out Keith's name. He hoped that Keith didn't hear him, but he couldn't stop from pleasuring himself.

Moments later, to Lance's surprise, he heard Keith calling his name out. Hearing that just pushed Lance further, and he stroked himself quicker.

Keith had already finished once, but he kept going. Lance came to be a blushing and moaning mess, and Keith only grew louder. Lance couldn't take it anymore. He covered up and opened his door, and started towards the bathroom.

As Lance reached the bathroom door, he thought about what was going to happen. He knocked.

"Its unlocked", Keith said, as if he knew this would happen. Lance opened the door, with a completely red face, only to find Keith playing with a special toy. Keith eyes narrowed with the satisfaction he was feeling, and he smirked at Lance.

Lance bit his lip and tried to hide his obvious erection. He involuntarily whimpered, from the site of Keith looking him in the eyes, moaning out his name. Keith moved his special toy to the side and motioned for Lance to come over to him. Lance hesitantly followed Keith's command. 

Keith pushed Lance against the wall of the shower. He kissed him roughly and pressed against Lance's growing length. Lance kissed back, just as rough. 

They both wanted this. They both wanted more.

Keith trailed his kisses from Lance's lips, down to his neck, and whispered in his ear.

"I want you to fuck me, Lance", hearing that made Lance shudder. He turned and pushed Keith against the wall, and lifted him up, bringing him back into a rough kiss. Keith was surprised by Lance's strength and the sudden movement.

"Are you sure you're ready?", Lance asked. Keith nodded in response. He definitely was. Lance lifted Keith up further, slowly pushing inside of him, and nipped at his neck. Keith turned his head to give Lance more room, and moaned softly, feeling Lance enter him.

"Lance~", Keith called out in a quiet moan. Lance pushed in further, while biting lightly at Keith's neck. Lance began to stroke Keith, and thrust in harder. Keith arched his back, wrapping his arms around Lance.

"F-Faster~", Keith whined. Lance thrust and stroked faster, muffling his own moans by biting and sucking on Keith's neck.

"You're bigger than I expected~", Keith smirked, trying to fluster Lance.

"You've been imagining it?~", Lance flirted back. 

Keith blushed harder, "Yes~~". And with that, Lance suddenly thrust in harder than before.

"F-fuck~", Lance called out. Keith moaned louder, and threw his head back, hitting the wall lightly.

"L-laance~", Keith drew out his name. Lance started thrusting in faster, and roughly kissing him. Keith scratched at Lance's back, which earned a loud moan. Lance began leaving marks on Keith's neck, and stroking him faster.

"D-damn K-keith~", Lance moaned breathily, "I c-can't last m-much longer~".

"I-I'm close, L-lance~", Keith called out in agreement, arching his back.

They kissed each other passionately, and moaned as they reached their climax. Lance slowly pulled out of Keith, and continued to hold him up and kiss him. He stroked Keith at a steady pace, playing with the tip with his thumb. That earned some high pitched moans from Keith. Lance broke the kiss and asked Keith, "Did you have fun?~".

"Y-yes~", Keith blushed. 

"Your moans are cute~~", Lance teased.

"S-shut up..~", Keith stuttered.


	5. Awkward Encounter

"Your moans are cute~~", Lance teased.

"S-shut up..~", Keith stuttered.

Lance smirked, and tried to flirt, "I didn't know you wanted me like that~"

"F-fuck you..~", Keith said, panting.

"We just did~", Lance laughed, "Are you hinting that you want to do it again?~~"

"Oh my god..", Keith blushed, glaring at Lance.

"You're the one who told me to come in here with you~", Lance tried to rile him up, "I Didn't know you held up so much sexual desire~~", He winked at Keith. 

"S-shut up...", Keith blushed hard.

"Or was all that desire specifically towards me?~~", Lance smirked, hiding a blush. He didn't expect that to be true. Keith's eyes widened and he looked away, with a deep blush growing on his face. "Oh it was?~", Lance continued.

"Shut uuup...", Keith hid his face. Lance suddenly came to the realization. Keith likes him.

"Keith," he started, "you like me?.."

"Y-yeah..", Keith mumbled. His face turned red.

Lance's eyes widened and he blushed deeply, "I- uhm...uh..", he started, unable to make his words. Keith looked at him and kissed him shyly. Lance hesitantly kisses him back.

"Uh..Should we get out?", Keith asked, realizing they were still in the shower.

"Uhm..Y-yeah", He said while sitting Keith down gently and stepping out of the shower. Keith got out and dried himself, and Lance turned around to give him privacy.

"You don't have to turn around..." Lance blushed hearing Keith say that, but he didn't move. 

Keith wrapped a towel around his waist and hugged Lance from behind, "You've basically seen everything already~"

Lance blushes, and ambivalently laid his hands over Keith's. "Haha..Y-yeah", Lance replied. 

Keith put on his clothes, and Lance scrambled to find his, realizing he had nothing on. Keith smirked and said, "Don't put clothes on yet~", and got down on his knees in front of Lance.

"Uh.. K-Keith?", Lance stuttered out.

Keith lightly grazed his tongue over Lance's length, causing Lance to shudder and bite his lip. Keith looked up at Lance, smirking devilishly. Lance looked away with a deep blush on his face.

Keith licked up the length, "You get hard so easily~", he tease Lance. Lance moaned softly in response. Keith swirled his tongue around the tip, and slightly takes Lance's length in his mouth. Lance whimpered and bit his lip in an attempt to not moan, as there was no longer water running to drown them out.

Keith took in the rest of Lance's length, and moved his head slowly. Lance leaned back against the came and covered his mouth, throwing his head back. He blushed hard and reached a hand down to play with Keith's mullet. Keith looked up at him and started moving his head faster. Lance intertwined his fingers in Keith's hair, and blushed harder, whimpering into his other hand.

Suddenly the door opened, "Oh fuck!..", they heard Pidge yell. The door slammed closed and they heard Pidge yell from the other side, "They are fucking in the bathroom, guys!"

Lance turned to the door, which was already shut, and turned a dark red, Keith immediately stopped what he was doing and blushes hard. He looks at Lance, who looks at him with an embarrassed, and almost scared expression.

"Fuck..umm", Keith mumbles as he stands up and looks around awkwardly.

"W-what..What do we do?...", Lance asked, turning to the wall and covering his entire face.

"I don't know", Keith said, covering his own face. Lance shifted and looked for his clothes. Once he found them he threw them on and headed towards the door.


	6. You Okay?

Lance made his way to the door, stopping with his hand on the doorknob, and looked at the ground. Keith watched him, feeling awkward. Lance looked back at Keith, and looked away quickly, before making his way out the door. 

Keith stood there as he watch Lance go. "Fuck..", He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

Lance ran down the hallway to his room, he saw someone in the distance, but was unable to stop himself. He ran directly into the figure, nearly knocking both of them over. 

Keith waited a moment before sneaking out of the bathroom, making sure to avoid anyone as he made his way to his room.

The figure Lance ran into was Shiro.

"Uh, are you okay, Lance?", he asked, although he knew what just happened, as Pidge explained to practically everyone. Lance was barely able to stutter out a response.

Keith was hiding in his room, completely wrapped in a blanket.

"Lance, calm down. Whats wrong?", Shiro asked, trying to get an answer.

"Uh.. N-nothing! I-i gotta go!..", Lance stuttered, trying to get away.

"Are you sure you're okay?", Shiro called to Lance, who already started walking away.

"Y-yep!", Lance replied, barely turning around.

"Okay...", Shiro mumbled, although he could see the terrified expression on Lance's face.

Lance ran into his room and slammed the door. He pressed his back against the door, and sunk down to the floor, laying his head between his knees. "Fuck..", he sighed to himself"

 **Keith Kogane** : Hey um..

 **Keith Kogane** : You okay?..

 **Lance McClain** : Idk..

 **Keith Kogane** : Yeah..

_Read_

Keith threw his phone out of frustration with himself. 

Lance sighed and hit his head on the door.


	7. Dinner Time

A few hours later, a voice broke the silence between everyone on the ship. It was Hunk, calling them for dinner.

Lance got up, and slowly started walking towards the kitchen. He sees Keith out in the hallway and the give each other an awkward look as they make their way to the kitchen.

Lance tries to get to the kitchen before Keith does, but Keith speeds up his pace. Lance looks back at Keith from the corner of his eye, and starts walking faster. Keith puts his hands in his pockets, feeling awkward, but tries to catch up to Lance.

Suddenly Lance takes off running to avoid talking to Keith. When Keith sees Lance running, he slows down and stops trying to catch up to Lance.

Lance made his way to the kitchen, and tries to act normal around everyone.

"H-hey guys, whats for dinner", he laughs trying to hide the awkwardness, "Space goo?"

Keith walked into the room and looked down awkwardly. Lance avoided looking at him at all.

"Are you two okay?..", Shiro asked, knowing that it wasn't.

"Uh yeah..", Keith said, visibly upset.

"Of course, why wouldn't  _I_  be?", Lance replied.

"You're just acting extra weird today..", Shiro started.

"Hmm, don't know what you mean.", Lance cut him off, "Anyway.." Lance ignored the situation.

This made Keith angry. They got their plates and sat at the table, Lance sat beside Pidge, which was far from where Keith sat. Lance stared at his food without eating it.

Shiro looked at the two of them, and then around to everyone else at the table.

Hunk broke the silence, once again. "Uh.. Whats with the new seat, Lance?"

"Yeah?", Pidge questioned.

Lance looked up to respond, "Time for a change, I guess", he instantly looked back down once he saw Keith. 

Keith didn't say anything, and Lance was obviously uncomfortable.

"Okay,  _something_ is wrong and I know it is, so just tell me", Shiro demanded.

"Well..", Keith started, but Lance cut him off.

"Nothing!", Lance exclaimed, "nothing..." He looked over at Keith with a scared look upon his face.

Keith glared at Lance and continued talking. "Lance and I had a  _bonding moment_ ", he paused to see a terrified looking Lance, "But I guess he's just going to forget it again.."

Lance looked like he was going to cry, and there's no way he was going to let the team see that. "Ya know..I-I'm not very hungry.." He stood up and ran into his room.

Keith got up to follow him.


	8. You Just Left

Lance made his way to his room and immediately slammed the door in hid. I was scared, and thought to himself:  _I fucked up. I can't do this again._

There was a knock at the door. Lance didn't move. There was another knock. He didn't say a word.

"Lance?", the voice called. Lance knew it was Keith. He didn't feel like talking. Keith knocked again, "C'mon Lance, open the door", he said louder. Lance was silent. Keith leaned against the door, "Lance.."

He heard Lance sigh, and he called out to him again. "Lance, please open the door.."

He got a response. "Why..", Lance asked, even though he knew why. It was a short response, but still a response.

"I want to talk to you", Keith said.

"Again, why..", Lance was still giving short replies.

"Because you just..", Keith pause for a moment, "left.." He was obviously pained. "And you didn't say anything..."

"I said I wasn't hungry", Lance said trying to avoid talking.

"That's not what I meant..", Keith trailed off.

Lance sighed, "I know..."

"..Why?", Keith was definitely upset, "Why did you?.."

"I don't know..", Lance sounded upset himself.

"There has to be a reason why you did..", Keith pushed for answers.

"I don't know, Keith.", Lance sounded annoyed. He sighed again, "I was just..scared"

"Scared of what?", Keith didn't hesitate with more questions. And Lance started to give answers.

"I dunno..I've never been in a situation like this..", he stopped, thinking of what to say, "With Pidge walking in.."

"You could have told me...", Keith replied.

"Well this may come as a shocker to you, but I don't like to talk to people about myself.", Lance sounded irritated and hurt, "Not like this.."

"I just.. I need to know, Lance.." he was hurt too.

"Need to know...?", Lance waited for Keith.

"What were you really scared of..", Keith clarified, "When you left.."

Lance just sighed in a response, whimpering a little. He was in pain, and Keith had to find out why.

"Please?.. I'm scared..", Keith admitted.

"W-why are y-you scared?..", Lance sniffed. Was he crying?

"That..you don't like me back..", Keith's heart dropped at the thought and he started crying.

"That's the thing, Keith..", Lance suddenly opened the door, "I do..", He was crying, "I..I like you so much.." Keith hugged Lance, and Lance continued to speak, "I can't lose you, Keith.. I can't lose someone I care about..", he let the tears fall down his face, "Not again."

They stood there holding each other close, letting their tears fall. At this point, Keith was sobbing into Lance's shirt.


	9. I Get Scared

Keith was sobbing into Lance's shirt. He pulled away from the hug. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this..", Keith apologized.

"I-it's okay, Keith..", Lance said.

"It's really not..", Keith replied, "I've never been like this..", he paused, "and you've never seen me like this..", he rambled on, "and I never wanted you to see me like this, and I just..", Keith broke down, "I never thought I'd get like this.."

Lance pulled Keith into a hug and held him close, while playing with his mullet. Keith hugged Lance tightly. "Shh..", Lance tried to comfort him, "It's gonna be alright.." Lance pulled Keith closer to him.

"I just..", Keith sniffed, "I got really scared.."

"I know...", Lance rubbed his back, "Trust me.. I know"

"And mad..at the same time", Keith continued, "I didn't know how to feel..."

"Keith..", Lance sighed, "When you told me that you liked me..I was terrified"

"I was terrified to tell you..", Keith admitted.

"I didn't know what to do..I still don't really..", Lance was hesitant, "I like you, Keith, I like you a lot.. I really do..", he trailed off.

"I.. I love you", Keith confessed. Lance's eyes widened as he blushed deeply. "I love you so much..."

"I.. I-i", Lance was unable to form words. Keith held on to him tightly.

Shiro walked up to the two of them, "Are you guys okay?", neither of them moved. "I guess I'll leave you two alone then..tell me what happens after though."

The two of them, Lance and Keith, stood in the doorway of Lance's bedroom. After moments of silence, Keith spoke up. "C-can I stay in here with you tonight?", his voice was shaky. Lance didn't say anything, but motioned for Keith to walk in. Keith held onto Lance as they walked. 

"So..this is my room", Lance said nervously.

"Haha yeah", Keith tried to lighten the mood, "It's cleaner than I expected." Lance laughed and Keith sat down on the bed.

"Do you..need some blankets?", Lance asked. Keith nodded and looked around awkwardly, waiting for Lance to come back. 

Once Lance brought back extra blankets, Keith wrapped himself up like a burrito. Which made Lance laugh to himself.

"You can sleep on the bed", Lance told Keith, and he nodded, "And I'll sleep on the floor". He started to make a small bed on the floor.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor, Lance"

"Where else should I sleep?", he asked.

"On the bed.", they both blushed. Lance sat on the bed beside Keith, and looked at the ground. They both felt a little awkward in this moment. And honestly.. who wouldn't? Keith leaned against Lance, and rested his head on his shoulder.

After some time, Keith lays down and motions for Lance to lay beside him, and he does. They lay there, looking at the ceiling. "I love you..", Keith states quietly.


	10. I can't..

"I love you..", Keith states quietly. 

"Keith I-", Lance was pained, "I don't want to lose you, Keith. I can't.. I'm sorry, Keith, we can't get too close.."

Keith's eyes widened, "Why?.."

"Because, Keith..", Lance was trying his best to not cry again, "Whenever I care about someone, and get close to them, I lose them..", he sighed, "Something always happens.. I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me..", Keith saw the expression on Lance's face, and spoke up before he could say anything, "You're not. And I'm gonna make sure of that.."


	11. I've waited so long

"You're not going to lose me..", Keith saw the expression on Lance's face, and spoke up before he could say anything, "You're not. And I'm gonna make sure of that.." Tears began to run down Lance's face. "Lance..", Keith called out, and for about the fourth time tonight, he confessed to Lance, "I love you.."

Lance looked at Keith nervously, "I love you.." 

Keith held onto Lance, "I love you so much.." Lance laid an arm around Keith, accepting his love. "You have no idea how long I've waited to say that..", Keith said, holding Lance closer.

Lance apologized to Keith for leaving him in the bathroom, with no explanation. He apologized repeatedly, no matter how many times Keith told him it was okay.

They spent the rest of the night cuddling in Lance's bed, falling asleep as they muttered their good nights.

"I love you, mullet"

"I love you, tailor"


End file.
